The part of you they take with them, that hollowed out spot in your chest, that sting and numbness and dazed acceptance -- it’s still there, still fresh, still real. It is never not a part of you...ever again. We are changed by each death. Even though life is given again in the next lifetime, … Continue reading This Memorial Day…
Your Story | Rise for the Fallen
Note: The following is a first-person graphic account of an experience during combat. Please be aware that this story may contain triggers and read at your own discretion. I share this story to honor the warriors who lived it and to bring to light the sacred experiences warriors carry on their hearts. We were Engineers … Continue reading Your Story | Rise for the Fallen
The power of sharing your story
What you have experienced and witnessed and carry within you is powerful. It's sacred. It's human. It's what you relive every day, every night. What you can't forget and what you don't want to ever forget. It's not just a story, it's part of who you are. It may feel unshareable. And too painful to … Continue reading The power of sharing your story
After six years, I've updated this site with a new design, look and feel. The content all remains and you can find all your favorite articles just as before. You'll notice there's a more sensual and intimate feel with the images I've selected. There's a reason for that. The work I do is deeply human … Continue reading Newness
16 Years & They Still Don’t F***ing Get It
I am angry tonight. Angry at the lack of understanding that returning warriors have faced for millennia and I still must face in the broken hearts of those who have been fighting our goddamn wars for more than 16 years now....and still they come home to blatant insensitivity. Angry that any heart could not stretch … Continue reading 16 Years & They Still Don’t F***ing Get It
After Combat, When is Love Worth Fighting For?
"But I love my wife. She's everything to me. I don't want to lose her." "He's not the man I married. I can't do this anymore." I hear these two expressions all the time from good people whose hearts are aching and weary. Brave people who are dealing with intense trauma and changes in each … Continue reading After Combat, When is Love Worth Fighting For?
A Reason to Fight On
He led the rebel movement. Rebels? Yes, that's what they were. How unimaginable it would have been just a few years before. When life was normal. Peaceful. Predictable. The invading foreigners were determined to decide the fate of his people. Determined to impose a way of life, their way of life. A life he could … Continue reading A Reason to Fight On
Why You Need a Sense of Self to Heal
When I was 21, I was bedridden for six months. Stress-induced chronic fatigue, though the specialists at that time didn't know what was wrong with me. They wondered if it was all in my head. I knew it wasn't, but since the age of 9 I had highly trained doctors examine me, test my blood … Continue reading Why You Need a Sense of Self to Heal
When You Feel Like You Don’t Deserve to Be Happy
"I don't deserve to be here." "I don't deserve to be happy." It comes from deep within, this sense of having violated the sanctity of Life as a warfighter. It's very hard to feel that you are a good soul when you've killed people. Even harder, at times, when you couldn't save people you loved … Continue reading When You Feel Like You Don’t Deserve to Be Happy
These Questions Could Change Your Life
You've tried everything you know to do. Meds, therapists who don't get it, PTSD programs, drinking, getting high, staying overly busy. Some of it has helped alleviate the pain; mostly, you just end up putting up with it all. You would give anything if someone would just come along and help you find a way … Continue reading These Questions Could Change Your Life
What if Suicide Doesn’t End the Pain?
Sending you the energy of strength and courage today... may you feel held and wanted. You are not your wounds. You are not your limitations. You are not your reaction to war. You are an eternal being experiencing this lifetime. And there is hope and love for you here. If you are in imminent risk … Continue reading What if Suicide Doesn’t End the Pain?
Too Far Gone to Be Saved?
It all adds up. Accumulates. Pain, trauma, losses. Anger, resentment, guilt. Buries You underneath. You watch your Self vanish, become unrecognizable. And wonder if you're too far gone to be saved. Is there such a thing as too far gone to be saved? You're tired and it never seems to get better. Your life is … Continue reading Too Far Gone to Be Saved?