I am angry tonight. Angry at the lack of understanding that returning warriors have faced for millennia and I still must face in the broken hearts of those who have been fighting our goddamn wars for more than 16 years now....and still they come home to blatant insensitivity. Angry that any heart could not stretch … Continue reading 16 Years & They Still Don’t F***ing Get It
"But I love my wife. She's everything to me. I don't want to lose her." "He's not the man I married. I can't do this anymore." I hear these two expressions all the time from good people whose hearts are aching and weary. Brave people who are dealing with intense trauma and changes in each … Continue reading After Combat, When is Love Worth Fighting For?
This is an issue many of you, and especially me, are dealing with. I'm going to flat out tell you right now that I'm just beginning to truly understand the importance of true intimacy... I'm a novice at this, guys. Maybe we all are. God knows how many ancient walls guard my heart....or what it … Continue reading How Much Does True Intimacy Matter?
We spend a lot of time thinking that we need to let go of the past. "Let it go". "Move on." "Leave it behind you." "Try not to think about it." "That's not who you are anymore." These are phrases that are well intentioned and often eventually work for broken hearts, break-ups, job losses, and … Continue reading When the Past Feels More Real Than the Present
From the time I was five, I have lived with a body that subjects me to pain. Severe headaches at age five, joint pain that kept me on the sofa at age nine. Then an adolescence of debilitating fatigue, sensitivity to sound and temperatures, allover muscle and joint aches, flu-like symptoms. It would last for weeks, months … Continue reading PTSD: When No One Believes Your Pain is Real
You came back different. Changed. You can't really describe it, but you're not yourself. Not who you used to be. You're angry. Blow up at stupid shit. Lack other emotions. Feel numb. Tired. Disinterested in stuff that used to be interesting. Tense. Sleepless. Have nightmares that scare the hell out of you. Forget shit. Can't … Continue reading PTSD, TBI, Sex and Relationships
One of the most challenging aspects combat vets face when coming home is the gap between who they are now and who their loved ones expect them to be. Warriors say that you can't translate much of what they've been through, because there is no substitute for being there. And there is deep truth in … Continue reading Things Combat Vets Wish They Could Tell You | Part 1
If you haven't read Part 1, please do. This is part of a discussion designed to help combat vets help others understand them better. If this article resonates with you, pass it along to a loved one. Here is what I hear from vets and what they are often unable to share with others: 1.) … Continue reading Things Combat Vets Wish They Could Tell You | Part 2
Trevor sat down in the lunchroom with his colleagues. He’d been back at his civilian job for the last three months. Things were okay. Not great, but okay. It’d taken a while to get used to the routine and some of the policies at his company had changed in the fifteen months he’d been deployed. … Continue reading Questions Vets May Wonder About After War
We are often unaware of how powerful our thoughts can be. We feel something, get in a mood, dwell on a thought that creates negative emotions and don't know how to get ourselves out of it. We aren't taught growing up that thoughts are actually what create our emotions, drive our beliefs and determine how … Continue reading How to Shift Your Thoughts to Change Your Life
The cost of war to the human spirit can be summed up with one word: loss. The loss of sanctity of life, boundaries, safety, control. The loss of relationship - with ourselves, others, loved ones, our jobs, who we used to be, the future we planned. Loss holds the wounds of war in its hand. … Continue reading Why Veterans Need to be Allowed to Grieve
How do you talk about war? For war survivors and loving families, knowing what to say or how to say it can be overwhelming. Do you talk about the war? Do you ask what it was like? Isn’t it best if the vet shares all that stuff with you? Or should you just leave it … Continue reading Families & Vets: Talking About War