You were never there. You never existed. Your war will never be acknowledged or validated. How can you hope to find healing? You live with the reality of your experiences. Your losses. Only those there know. Only those who were there will ever know. Only you will know their names. You can't walk into a … Continue reading Special Forces: How Do You Heal When You Don’t “Exist”?
By Joe DeCree To All My Brothers and Sister Warriors, I have been reading the traffic on this blog for a couple of years and it has helped me immensely in my own journey back to light. The recent post “When You Can’t Be a Warrior Anymore…Is There a Reason to Go On?” hits such … Continue reading Warriors: We Have Earned the Rest of Our Lives
This is not the night you die. This is the night you let the belief that you cannot change die. These struggles feel so solid. So permanent. They are made of thoughts and feelings. Thoughts and feelings can be changed. Your entire being, your spirit, your mind, your beliefs are designed to change, to grow, … Continue reading This is Not the Night You Die.
Another day another screaming interview with someone who wants to roll back a few rights to increase their perception (sic) of safety. It is tough to hear these opinions isn’t it? Every time I hear one of these people scream about how my rights are killing, hurting, insulting, offending, etc. them it starts a cycle … Continue reading Coping with the News Cycle
Do you recall the Nicole Kidman thriller The Others? In it she lives in a haunted house which she does not know to be haunted. Eventually the ma & pa caretakers, also ghosts unbeknownst to Kidman, tell her about the “others” who are the other ghosts in the house threatening her children. And some … Continue reading The Others
It is almost February 2nd. Time for more reruns of the Bill Murray/ Harold Ramis classic movie. It is a movie that works on many levels for many of us. In thinking about this movie (it is a favorite of mine) I found an interesting parallel to post military life. Speaking for myself, when I … Continue reading Groundhog Day…Again
Warriorhood -- the status of being a warrior. Warrior -- a person who is called to defend others; to live by a code of honor and ethics in pursuit of the greater good; to lead the non- warrior class in living up to the ideals of the society. These definitions are my own, but I … Continue reading Find a Fight You Can Believe In Again
He led the rebel movement. Rebels? Yes, that's what they were. How unimaginable it would have been just a few years before. When life was normal. Peaceful. Predictable. The invading foreigners were determined to decide the fate of his people. Determined to impose a way of life, their way of life. A life he could … Continue reading A Reason to Fight On
It all adds up. Accumulates. Pain, trauma, losses. Anger, resentment, guilt. Buries You underneath. You watch your Self vanish, become unrecognizable. And wonder if you're too far gone to be saved. Is there such a thing as too far gone to be saved? You're tired and it never seems to get better. Your life is … Continue reading Too Far Gone to Be Saved?
Finding purpose after the military feels almost impossible, doesn't it? It's not that you don't have skills to translate into civilian work. It's the underlying sense of why you are doing it that feels so off. Once you've been responsible for life and death, millions of dollars worth of equipment, or leading others into and through … Continue reading How to Create a Meaningful Life After the Military
It's that heaviness deep in your chest. That gaping void where part of who you were before is permanently gone. It's the sense of having done things that can never be undone, a burden of being responsible for having taken life and for having lost it. A burden you know is yours to carry. It's … Continue reading When You Feel As If You Don’t Belong
You miss warfighting. Miss war, miss your team, miss having life and death within your power. Miss the cohesion, the shared misery, the trust. Life was simple, fucking hard, and combat required all of you. Now nothing requires all of you. Warfighting is a spiritual calling, which means that tug on your soul doesn't go away just because … Continue reading When You Miss War