How do you keep going when the battles are drawn out, each day feels pointless, and you are so, so tired? When the darkness feels never-ending and nothing seems to get better? How do you keep picking yourself up off the ground, and talk yourself out of fear and back into battle? How do you … Continue reading How to Keep Going
When You Feel As If You Don’t Belong
It's that heaviness deep in your chest. That gaping void where part of who you were before is permanently gone. It's the sense of having done things that can never be undone, a burden of being responsible for having taken life and for having lost it. A burden you know is yours to carry. It's … Continue reading When You Feel As If You Don’t Belong
On Healing, Spirituality and Warriorhood after Combat
I'm peeling back a layer here to go deeper into some of the issues close to heart. Why? Because the things I discuss with combat veterans are deeply personal, deeply human, and deeply spiritual to warfighters in nature. Not religious. Spiritual. Pretty much every topic I discuss can be tied back to spirit. So, let's … Continue reading On Healing, Spirituality and Warriorhood after Combat
Combat Vets: On Carrying Violence Over into Civilian Life
You were trained to be violent. That's obvious to you, but it's not to civilians. They see veterans who struggle with violence or violent tendencies as someone who has lost control (or never had it) and they fear you. Warfighters and LEOs are the only callings in life where you are trained to use violence … Continue reading Combat Vets: On Carrying Violence Over into Civilian Life
How Much Does True Intimacy Matter?
This is an issue many of you, and especially me, are dealing with. I'm going to flat out tell you right now that I'm just beginning to truly understand the importance of true intimacy... I'm a novice at this, guys. Maybe we all are. God knows how many ancient walls guard my heart....or what it … Continue reading How Much Does True Intimacy Matter?
When You Miss War
You miss warfighting. Miss war, miss your team, miss having life and death within your power. Miss the cohesion, the shared misery, the trust. Life was simple, fucking hard, and combat required all of you. Now nothing requires all of you. Warfighting is a spiritual calling, which means that tug on your soul doesn't go away just because … Continue reading When You Miss War
Suicide: Stop Believing the Lie That No One Cares
One of my Soldiers learned today that he lost a soldier to suicide. One of my Marines attended the funeral this week of a brother who went Home early. I'm sure there are many more of you who are dealing with this kind of loss right now. And many of you who are contemplating killing … Continue reading Suicide: Stop Believing the Lie That No One Cares
How to Find Your Purpose After Combat
So much of life after combat is an identity crisis. Yes, there's the emotional, mental and physical pain. The nightmares, rage, insomnia. The grief, the edginess, the isolation. Forced smiles, numbness and lack of connection. But underneath it all, there's something else. There's the questions: why am I still here? Who am I now? Underneath … Continue reading How to Find Your Purpose After Combat
When the Past Feels More Real Than the Present
We spend a lot of time thinking that we need to let go of the past. "Let it go". "Move on." "Leave it behind you." "Try not to think about it." "That's not who you are anymore." These are phrases that are well intentioned and often eventually work for broken hearts, break-ups, job losses, and … Continue reading When the Past Feels More Real Than the Present
Suicide: When a Brother Goes Home Early
It's the day after Valentines. We lost too many men yesterday. Men who stared in the mirror and saw only what they never wanted to become. Men who felt unloved, unseen, and ashamed that too often their pain had spilled over in rage. Men who felt they failed because they couldn't keep their pain from … Continue reading Suicide: When a Brother Goes Home Early
Trust: Why It’s So Hard to Let Others In
I've spent this entire lifetime being the strongest person I know. I know the walls that allow you to reach out, but won't let anyone reach in. I know what it is to trust yourself the most because at the end of the day, you are the one responsible. I know how terrifying it is to even consider being vulnerable … Continue reading Trust: Why It’s So Hard to Let Others In
Combat PTSD: F***ed Up or Wounded?
Okay, so the words themselves mean the same thing in your mind. Fucked up. Pain. Shit. Issues. Doesn't matter what you call it, right? Who cares? What if how you think of it is keeping you stuck? No, I'm not being "a writer" here and picking on words. On the surface, it doesn't matter how you refer to the … Continue reading Combat PTSD: F***ed Up or Wounded?